Not A Chance
by The Very Last Valkyrie
Summary: Emmett likes Rosalie, and Rosalie likes Emmett - she just doesn't know it yet. Will Emmett be able to convince her? Not a chance!
1. Chapter 1: The Bane Of My Existence

"C'mon, Rose

"C'mon, Rose!" Emmett wheedled.

"Rose is not my name!" I snapped at him. His face fell a little, and I felt a twist in my gut. I hated hurting Emmett, but hey. This was me. Rosalie Hale, ultimate ice queen. I would stay this way. I never wanted to feel again. Not after the last time.

"Do you know what happened to the last man who called me that?" I hissed. He shook his head mutely. "He ended up on a slab, Emmett. On. A. Slab," I enunciated.

Emmett grinned. Why? Why did he keep doing that?

"Well, at least I know you can't do that to me," He said. "You'll come round eventually, Rose – just not yet."

"I will not come round, as you put it." My voice was thick with scorn. He shrugged his shoulders, stunningly blasé.

"You just keep telling yourself that, Rose," He said. Then he leapt out the window, and was away.

How many years had Emmett been bothering me now? Ten? Twenty? I lost count after a while. If he'd been sycophantic and simpering like everyone in my old life, I could've just shrugged him off. If he'd been charming and dapper like – _Don't say the name, don't say the name, don't say the name,_ I chanted in my head.

But Emmett wasn't like that. He was persistent. Insistent. That one day I would come around and admit that I 'liked him, just a little'. Bah. Emmett was annoying and unrelenting and I Did. Not. Like. Him.

He had been trying to make me play baseball now, of all things. As if a girl raised like I was would know how to play! I shook my head. Stupid, stupid Emmett.

"Rosalie!" came a trill from outside the door.

"Go away," I groaned. "I'm not here." Of course Alice took no notice, skipping in and leaping on the bed beside me, making the springs squeal.

"Edward sent me up," She explained.

"As if you needed a reason," I muttered mutinously.

"You know what I think?"

"No. Nor do I care."

"I think you're irritated because Emmett has been annoying you again." I rolled over.

"You're acting as if Edward didn't just tell you that."

"He didn't. He kept the specifics to himself. Anyhoo," She continued. "Why is that I am seeing visions of you and Emmett in a field? Alone?" She added ominously.

"Because I am obviously going to want a place far away from civilization to murder him in!"

Alice wrapped her arms around me. I tried to shrug them off but then, how do you shrug off a vampire? Even when you're not trying very hard. "Why are you trying so hard, Rosalie?" She whispered. "You and Emmett would be perfect together. You must be able to see that." I ground my teeth.

"We would not be perfect. We would not be anywhere near perfect. We would be as far away from perfect as it is possible to be. This is us, and that is perfect. Way, way over there."

She reached up to tuck one of my golden curls behind my ear, but I slapped her hand away. I didn't want to be touched right now.

"Please," She murmured, though ever note was clear as a bell. "Please – try?" I shook my head, sighing. She unwound her arms from around my neck.

"Doesn't matter anyway," She said shortly.

"Huh?"

"I can still see you two in that field. And this time, you're not standing a foot apart, yelling at each other." So I do succeed in making Emmett mad. Or did. Ha.

"And you're not going for his throat, if that's what you're thinking." I growled at her, rising from my horizontal position into a crouch.

"Okay, okay, I'm going, Miss Feral." And she sashayed towards the door. In the doorway however, she turned around.

"Hmmm," She said. "His shirt appears to be missing. Would you know its whereabouts, I wonder?"

I sprang, but Alice was long gone, the peals of her laughter echoing off the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2: Sort Of In Bed With Emmett

I lay awake (as if I could ever do anything else) that night, but under the quilt, which was unusual

I lay awake (as if I could ever do anything else) that night, but under the quilt, which was unusual. I felt I needed the comfort I sometimes gleaned from smell coming off the old fabric.

Why did everything have to be so mystifying? I wasn't sorry for bringing Emmett back to Carlisle, that I would never say, but…he confused me. Alice confused me. Edward's interpretation of _my own thoughts_ was confusing. Why? Why why why?

"Rose?" Oh no. No no no no no. No way José. Not in a million billion, trillion, years.

"Can I come in?" I thought of several different ways of answering. _No Emmett, you may not come in. Go away Emmett. Go have a scrap with a bear or something, Emmett, and leave me alone._

"Bleh." I replied. He came in, of course.

"I _could_ have been sleeping, you know."

"We can't sleep, Rose."

"How do you know that it's not just you?"

"Because Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Jasper and Alice are all down there, not sleeping. Nor have they slept in quite a while. Therefore, by logical deduction, you are not sleeping." He came in and stood just inside the doorway. "I wanted to talk."

"What have we just been doing for the last two minutes? Except wasting precious time, that is?" I asked, acidly.

"I'm serious." Oh God. Not serious Emmett. Horse play Emmett I could deal with, but not serious Emmett…I sighed, defeated, and patted the counterpane.

"Sit." I instructed. He sat down, and then looked at me with solemn eyes.

"Why don't you like me, Rosalie?" WHAT? He couldn't be that quick off the mark, I hadn't even had time to organise my answer.

"It's not that I don't like you Emmett, it's just…"

"What? That you're trying incredibly hard not to?" He snapped. Then his face softened. I doubt Emmett had ever been angry for a sustained minute. He took a deep, unneeded breath.

"It wouldn't be like that for us, Rosalie. It wouldn't be like…like what it was before." I winced. "I would make you happy. It would be my life's work to make you happy. I won't ever leave you out in the cold, Rosalie. I won't ever let you down."

I exhaled, long and low, searching for something to say. It might've taken me longer if I wasn't already one of the un-dead.

"It's not that I…I can't…Oh Emmett, how can you even think of me that way? I've been horribly mean to you and…and…and baseball!"

"BASEBALL?!" Emmett yelled. "I tell you I love you and all you can say is…baseball?!" He was laughing so hard that it echoed through the house, rattling the bed. I sat stony faced, arms folded.

"Are you quite finished?" I asked, sometime later.

"Yup," He gasped, impossibly breathless with mirth.

"Then gather what's left of your dignity and leave, please." I gestured toward the door and he got up to leave.

"You'll come around sooner than I thought, Rose," He said, playful again. "You let your guard down there for, oh," He consulted his watch. "At least a minute."

"Go. Now." I said through gritted teeth.

"Maybe I'll just get Edward to read your mind for me," He added.

"One more word, Emmett," I spat. "And that bear's going to look like the tamest teddy you ever came across."

"Sure, sure," He said.

He was still chuckling as he closed the door.


	3. Chapter 3: Bonding Over Baseball

"Rosalie

"Rosalie?" Jasper stuck his head round the door. Grrr. _This house has four other vampires to bug, go annoy them. And give me some peace!_

"Yes, Jasper?" I asked. There really was no need to repeat my thoughts to Jasper. He could taste my irritation in the air the same way Edward could hear my irritable opinions.

"We're going to have a game tomorrow." Was I imagining that smug look in his eye?

I was perplexed. "A game of what, Jasper?"

He was full out grinning now. "Baseball."

"I can't play baseball," I growled. His air of satisfaction was so tangible I could almost taste it.

"I know. So Emmett offered to teach you! Isn't that great?"

"Jasper," I said very slowly. "If you want to leave this room with even one strand of that honey coloured hair still attached to your head, I suggest you leave it now."

Jasper smiled exultantly, and bounded out of the door and down the hall. He was going to tell Alice.

I knew instinctively that if I asked Carlisle or Esme or Edward or Jasper or Alice to teach me, I would receive the same answer. Fab.

"Great subtlety there, guys," I muttered. "Try and get Emmett and Rosalie to bond over baseball. Hey, that'll work."

"Well, I was just gonna teach you to play, actually," came a voice from over my shoulder. Grrr. "But hey, whatever works for you."

I wheeled around. Emmett was there, of course. He eyed me critically up and down, from my flounced blouse to my prairie skirt.

"I am NOT changing," I stated. He grinned. He was wearing a dark blue baseball cap and in one swift motion he pulled it from his head and plonked it on mine.

"Ugh," I complained.

"Not ugh," He countered. "You look…sexy, Rose. More than usual, I mean."

"You gonna keep that testosterone under control or am I gonna have to make you?" I asked. He chuckled, but I kept the hat on.

I was deliberately slow on the way to the baseball field, dawdling every time I saw something interesting. I was pretty sure he'd get annoyed, what with my 'Oh my God, there's some leaf mould. And it's ten times more interesting than you,' and other gems, but he didn't. Emmett NEVER got friggin' annoyed.

When we eventually got there, still faster than any human ever could've, he handed me a metal bat.

"Not wood," He explained. "With the kind of swing our lot has, it has to be metal." I swung it, then planted myself, feet apart, bat in hand. He laughed.

"You stand like a girl."

"Well guess what, genius? I am a girl."

"You could've fooled me, tiger." He came and stood close behind me, adjusting my arms with his big hands. "No, not like that…down, down a little…that's…no, that is not it…Rosalie, are you being deliberately frustrating…up, up, up…okay."

He went and stood a pace back staring at me critically.

"Stop sticking your ass out."

"Stop looking at my ass!"

"Well I _wouldn't_ if you didn't_ stick_ it!"

I swung the bat backwards. It hit his thick head with a satisfying _smack_.

"Oops," I giggled. "Gee, sorry Emmett. Just a little enthusiastic, I guess." I swung the bat back forward. It was a little more…_bendy_ than it had been. Then suddenly it was whisked from my grasp.

"Aw, Rose," said Emmett, still behind me, as if I'd damaged his firstborn child. "You bent it!" I might've have been a little more repentant if I hadn't felt at that moment a swift _crack_ across my derrière. I whirled on him.

"What?" He asked innocently "It needed straightening out…"

I launched myself at him, knocking him off the grassy slope where he stood. He didn't try to keep himself upright, he just gripped my wrists to stop me going for his eyes.

Down and down the small hill we rolled, faster and faster until we hit the bottom with a resounding thump that created a slighter deeper valley than there was originally. I groaned. Emmett had ended up on top, of course, and with my hands pinned to the turf there was no arching my spine and throwing him off.

He looked at me questioningly. "Don't you feel anything when I'm this close?"

"No," I said. Thank God I had no heartbeat to give me away.

He leaned a little closer, golden eyes boring deep, deep into mine. "Here?"

"Nope."

"Hmmm," He said pensively, and dropped his head to the side, kissing me with soft little kisses from my chin to my jaw. "How about here?" He murmured around my skin.

"Zilch," I sighed. "Not a thing."

He pulled back, and I smiled up at him with my golden eyes. "You're never gonna admit it, are you?" He asked.

"Never," I affirmed. "Not even if it's the last thing I do." He snickered and pulled me up so we were both kneeling, my slender hands enclosed by his large ones. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his hands and cupped my face.

"Rosalie," He breathed. Never had my name come so close to sounding like a prayer. And his eyes…his eyes were pulling me in, pulling me into their warm golden depths.

Did I want to do this? Did I really have any choice? I thought not. So slowly, slow as Emmett had been (but still faster than any human ever could be) I reached up and trailed my fingers down the warm column of his neck.

"Rosalie," My name was an exhalation this time, to accompany the shiver that ran down his spine at this touch, the first contact that had been of my volition.

He leaned closer, gradually closer, till I could taste the sweet tang of his breath and we were inhaling together.

"My Rosalie," He whispered. And then our lips met.

It was like being hooked up to a live wire. Electricity flowed from his mouth to mine, down my spine and to the ground. My fingers locked around his neck like a vice and I drew him down, down, till we lay once again in the grass, kissing like I had never kissed before, inhaling great gasps of each other's scent.

His lips moved from my lips to my chin, and thence down my throat. He traced the line of my collarbone with his mouth, following it up my neck and to my lips again.

I slipped my hands inside his shirt and splayed my fingers against the rock hard marble of his chest.

Emmett wasn't one for doing things by halves. The shirt was in shreds on the grass less than five seconds later.

When we finally broke apart, he rolled off me and lay, flat on his back beside me.

"Wow. That was…wow."

I rolled on my side, propped on my elbow to look at him. He looked beatific – a man searching for water who has discovered a reservoir.

"For me, too," I said shyly. Shyly? Me? Had Emmett sucked my soul out through my mouth?

He grinned lazily. "We're definitely continuing that later. Only…somewhere where it's not so easy to get grass stains."

I drew his hand to my mouth and blew softly into the palm. He groaned. "Damn the grass stains!"

I laughed – not a cold, hard laugh like brittle glass, not the laugh I was used to. The laugh was like a bubbling spring, almost as tinkling as Alice's.

"And Emmett? Just so you know…I'd happily slaughter the entire population of the planet just so it could be you and me alone."

He sighed. "Ah, Rose…your bloodthirstiness is more of a gift to me than you know." Then he pulled me to my feet.

"We'd better get back," He said.

"You have no shirt," I pointed out. He looked down at me speculatively.

"Well…we can always dispense with yours, just so we match, y'know." I laughed again.

"Later." I grinned, and then remembered. "Aw, crap!"

"What? What is it?" He was instantly alert, eyes searching the surrounding trees.

"Alice…she saw…she saw…" I trailed off.

"This?"

"I hope to God she didn't see this."

"Why? Aren't we going to tell them?" Huh. I could imagine that conversation. _Never bet against a psychic_, I thought.

"No. Not because I don't want to, but because…Alice would never let me live it down. No. You are going to gain a sudden interest in memorising the telephone book, and I am going to concentrate very hard on translating the Bible into modern sign language."

"And I am going to try very hard to distract you from that noble aim."

"Good."

And with that, we strolled off together towards the woods surrounding the parkland.


End file.
